


Where in the World is Lupin III?

by OrsonZedd



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019), Lupin III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrsonZedd/pseuds/OrsonZedd
Summary: The theft of the Hope Diamond by a nearly 90 year old thief has both VILE and ACME baffled.  In hopes of recovering it, Carmen and the gang travel to Cagliostro, the last known location of the theif.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

There was never applause on the Vile Council, not even for the best ideas. Professor Gunnar Maelstrom still felt that perhaps his idea wasn’t being received very well.

“Don’t get me wrong, Maelstrom, I’m sure that it would bring out the color in your eyes, but what in the world exactly do you want with the Hope Diamond if not to sell it?” asked Eartha Brunt.

“I must agree that I don’t much understand why you would want it. Certainly we can’t get the 300 million it’s appraised at on the black market. Not to mention, it’s cursed.”

“Ah my compatriots, that is exactly why I wish to obtain the Hope Diamond. Psychologically, a curse can be a very powerful weapon, and with it I can harness its curse to force the gullible to do my bidding.” 

Saira Bellum grinned from cheek to cheek. It was completely unscientific, but she had to admit that Maelstrom had a way with words. “Well, let’s put it to a vote.”

Brunt and Cleo voted yes, apathetically. It was no skin off their nose if this went south. Roundabout agreed, as every failure brought ACME closer to them.

“I assume you have someone in mind for this operation?” Roundabout asked.

“Of course! I’m appointing Short for this operation. With his abilities he’ll effortlessly blend into any school group and when the time comes, pilfer the diamond right out of the Smithsonian.”

\---

Oslo, Norway, being as close to the Arctic Circle as it was, had an excess of two things, cold food and colder weather. Zack could handle the weather, Boston wasn’t exactly a tropical port of call, but nearly everywhere they went, fish was a main food staple.

“Fine, ya big baby,” said his older sister Ivy, “more food for me then.”

“Could you just not in polite company?” Zack asked.

“Who said you was polite?

Carmen, too was quite miserable. The Isle of Vile was a quarter of a world away, and always warm and tropical. But a master thief never let the heat bother them, nor the cold, though this was one time she was wearing her red coat for a reason other than showing off and looking cool.

The phone rang, finally, some action, maybe that’d get her henchmen to calm down.

“So what have you got for me, Player?”

“Hope you guys aren’t getting too comfortable. I’m picking up VILE chatter on the dark web. It looks like they’re planning a heist in Washington, DC.”

“Washington DC? The entire city is basically a giant museum!”

“You’re not wrong; the Smithsonian has 17 of its 19 museums in Washington DC. Eleven of these are on the National Mall. This long stretch was designed by Pierre Charles L’Enfant, who also set up the streets of the city.”

“Hey, where’s J Street?”

“There isn’t one. When drawing the layout for the city, the letters I and J looked so similar that J was skipped over to avoid confusion.”

“That didn’t exactly work did it?”

“It appears that VILE is going to attempt to steal the Hope Diamond from the National Museum of Natural History. The Hope Diamond has had a strange 353 year history. It was discovered in India by French Gem-Merchant Jean-Baptiste Tavernier. Originally weighing in at 115.28 carats, the diamond was sold to King Louis XIV. In 1678 the king commissioned the stone to be cut and the result was a 67.125 carat stone called the Blue Diamond of the Crown of France, or French Blue for short. After the French Revolution the diamond was looted and wound up in England where it was cut in two and the larger of the halves is the Hope Diamond we have today. Its lustrous blue color comes from the presence of boron in the carbon matrix of the diamond, and impurity that makes it even rarer than a clear diamond of the same size.”

“Isn’t the diamond said to be cursed? After all, it didn’t end well for the French Monarchy.”

“There were many false rumors in the 19th and 20th centuries that the diamond was stolen from a statue of the goddess Sita, the wife of Rama, but there’s no evidence that it was known before being dug out of a mine in the 17th century. However, 14 of its owners over the centuries have met with tragic ends, so the legend continues.”

Carmen’s private jet landed at Ronald Reagan international airport, as if there were a title song to make the segue from scene to scene smoother.

“I can’t believe you’re not excited to visit the capital of the US, guys.” Carmen could never tell with Zack and Ivy what would or wouldn’t impress them.

“Eh, you been on a fieldtrip to DC once, you been a thousand times,” Zack said.

“Yeah, but how many times have you ever stolen something from the Smithsonian?” she asked.

“All the time if you’re in a National Treasure movie,” Ivy replied.

“Could just be a Nicholas Cage thing. Are we sure he doesn’t work for VILE?” Zach asked.

“That would explain so many of his roles,” said Ivy.

The trio gathered their belongings and entered their escort from the tarmac. Their credentials would check out with the TSA, the Player made sure of that. There was literally nowhere they couldn’t go without being noticed, by most authorities anyway.

“We have reason to suspect Carmen Sandiego may already be in Virginia, Agents.” The Chief shimmered in the darkness, projected holographically from a pen. Her hair white with age and expression stern, she might have been the most serious person the two agents had ever known. 

“Great, America, home of fake cheese and white bread. What would Carmen Sandiego even want here that she couldn’t possibly find in a department store?” Agent Chase Devineaux had a hard time hiding his disdain for the American bourgeois.

“Intel indicates that VILE has sent a top agent to purloin the Hope Diamond, and no doubt Carmen Sandiego will be the one to nab it.”

“Are we sure?” Agent Julia Argent asked, “It could be that she’s trying to stop VILE from obtaining the stone.”

“You and your crazy conspiracies, Jules! Do not be so naïve to think Carmen is somehow on our side.”

“Agreed, Agent Chase,” the Chief replied. “Carmen Sandiego has had plenty of time to come clean, and thus far she’s continued to ghost us.

Julia sulked a bit having been told off by the both of them. Chase she expected it from, but it was hard when the Chief played favorites.

\---

The Museum of Natural history has a most impressive foyer. Balconies from the second floor overhung the lobby, and its centerpiece, the routunda elephant. While Zack had seen elephants before, it was nice to see one up close that wasn’t in danger of running him over.

“So how we playin’ this?” Zack asked.

“We’ll swap out the real one with a fake and drop the real one off in their storage. VILE will have no idea the gem they’ve got is worthless glass,” Carmen explained.

“Uh, they might,” said player over her earpiece. “Glass is much heavier than diamond and someone will definitely notice the luster being wrong eventually. But hopefully whoever they sent doesn’t know much about gems.”

“It’s a good bet,” said Carmen.

The trio made their way to the gem and mineral collection, where the Hope Diamond awaited their sticky fingers. However, in a group of students a bit further ahead, a VILE agent was planning his moves.

Jimmy Short was, indeed, quite unassuming. 88 pounds soaking wet, and barely reaching five feet tall, he was not the top of his class physically certainly, but he hid a secret. He broke from the school group he had infiltrated and turned immediately to the Hope Diamond.

Reflexively, Carmen shot him with her grappling hook, restraining his hand. “Gosh, there you are, Carmen Sandiego. I was beginnin’ to worry you wouldn’t show up.”

“Jimmy Smalls,” she replied. “Now what’s a small time villain like you doing here?”

By now a small crowd had assembled, phones out, filming in irritating portrait mode. 

“Jimmy Smalls, sure, but there’s somethin’ you never bothered to find out about me.” The grappling wire snapped, as Jimmy’s skin bristled and writhed. He grew suddenly, not taller, but larger, muscles toned and ripped, his clothing too. He growled, “They sometimes call me Jumbo Jimbo.”

“Looks like Saria Bellum’s handiwork.”

“Of course! I’ll let her know you approve!”

Zack and Ivy snuck around the pair. It wasn’t a donut shop, but isn’t a diamond just a really, really expensive donut in some way?

A stray punch smashed the glass, and alarms sounded, it would make their job much easier. “Ah, sweet,” Ivy thought to herself. She pulled out a fake from her pocket, ready to make the switch quickly and effortlessly.

“I’ll take that, thank you,” called a voice. Ivy only briefly saw the speaker, a blur of red and blue, a voice with a buttery accent she couldn’t quite place, and as the light came on, the jewel was gone, and a card remained.

The card read, “Arsène Lupin III.”

Ivy dropped the fake and took the card. Jimbo saw his opportunity and stole the fake away. Not once did it cross his mind why Carmen and her associates stopped their pursuit. It was more important to seem like a competent henchman.

“He’s getting away!” Ivy shouted.

“Yeah, with a fake.” Zack replied

“Not the incredulous sulk, the guy in the red suit!” Ivy handed Carmen the calling card.

Carmen didn’t immediately respond, but pocketed the card, “We need to go. Now.”

“What is it were hoping to find here, Chase?” Julia asked. He’d been rather quiet the whole flight, uncharacteristically so.

“We need to see their files on The Wolf. This copycat I guarantee is a pale imitation, but anything they know, we need to know, and that will bring us one step closer to capturing «Le Femme Rouge».” The two continued further up the steps of the Secretariat. Entering was no trouble. All they had to do was flash their ACME badges and the attending security waived them through. A bit of waiting and an Interpol officer arrived to greet them.

“Chase Devineaux, how good it is to have you back.” 

“Well, if it isn’t my good friend Cole Gannon.” Chase replied, “Shouldn’t you be behind a desk somewhere crunching numbers?”

“Someone had to pick up your slack and who better than Interpol’s best agent?”

“Perhaps now that is true.”

Julia, perhaps hoping to facilitate a more diplomatic stance, interrupted the genital waggling, “Detective Gannon, we were hoping you could help us.”

“Ah, yes, of course Agent Argent, please follow me,” and so they did. Cole continued, “You’ll have to forgive the messiness, we’re still in the process of digitizing.”

“Wait, are you to tell me all of Inspector Zenigata’s files are?” Chase began.

“In the same boxes they’ve been for the last 40 years. Well, you two have fun.” Cole signed the two into the records department, a damp and dank and mildewy basement room, where the only thing of interest was a television, too small or old to do much other than mildly entertain the archivist. The man was in his late 50s, and had been here when the building opened, and was quietly waiting for retirement, either by age or Interpol getting organized enough to digitize all the papers in the archives.

It was fortunate that the files were, more or less, organized by date mostly, but in another way, also by case number. Like an old Dewey Decimal system, all that the duo needed to do was locate the file with the corresponding number to Arsène Lupin III, 071019-67 in this instance.

Hours passed, “I cannot find these files. Where in the world are they?” Chase asked.

An idea struck Julia, and she nearly hated herself for not thinking of it sooner. “This building wasn’t constructed until 1989.”

Chase stopped in this path, “Zut-alors! Inspector Zenigata died in 1981. His files must have been transferred to Vienna.” He ran out of the archives, knowing full well that he’d have to wait for Julia anyway. On his way through Cole spotted him, “Oh hey, did you find—”.

“No I did not, thank you very much you American bonehead. You could have told me the files were not here.”

“Not like I was gonna go look for it for you. Have a good night!”


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang arrive in Cagliostro, in hot pursuit of an old thief.

On the alpine boarder of France and Italy sits the small duchy of Cagliostro. With a population of only 5,000 it’s the smallest member of the EU, and almost all its income is tourism based. Of those tourist attractions, Castle di Cagliostro is the most popular, as it hosts the area’s only church and also, the Museum of Arsène Lupin III, the master thief. It should therefore come as little surprise that the master thief Carmen Sandiego has come to Cagliostro to visit this museum to take not its treasures, but its information.

“Can’t believe we gotta drive around through the village to get to the castle, I mean, it’s right there!” Zack didn’t mind driving, but the narrow road was a bit unnerving, neverminding the barrier, it was still a steep drop into the ocean on a two lane road.

“We’re not in that big of a hurry, Zack, no need to rush,” said Carmen. “By the way, when did you learn Italian?”

Ivy lightly chuckled, “We knocked over a Sam’s Club, stole all these Rosetta Stone software boxes, and couldn’t turn them over easy.”

When they arrived at parking for the castle, other vehicles were conspicuously absent. “Hey, maybe it’s a holiday we don’t know about?” Ivy posited. It was possible, who could keep every European holiday straight anyway?

Normally a bus would drive visitors to and from the castle, but today, no bus was running, and that wasn’t terrible. The view was gorgeous, clouds that looked painted on hung in the sky and the April air cooled by the mountain could easily make them forget just exactly how much thinner the air was here. 

The bridge was ancient and must have been a marvelous feat of engineering by people who had to contend with the lake’s frigid waters. It was, mercifully, shorter than it looked, about a thousand feet from the road to the castle gate, and there among the masonry, the largest wooden doors any of the trio had ever seen in their lives. They might have been three stories tall, perhaps, but worst of all, they were closed. Beside them on the bridge, a button read, “premere per assistenza” and below that, «demander de l’aide». So Carmen pressed the button, and waited, as the tiny camera above the button coldly regarded her. There might not even be anyone present.

“Sorry,” a voice called, “the castle is only open for Mass on Saturdays; Museum Tours are Monday through Friday.” The voice was French, but a very odd French dialect. There was something in the accent she couldn’t quite place.

“Sir, I’m sorry, we really don’t need a tour; we were just hoping someone could tell us about this?” Carmen held up the calling card to the camera and waited.

“Now there’s something you don’t see every day…” this time the voice spoke in English. Shortly the gates began to open. “Please stay on the path; I’ll meet you in the chapel.”

\---

In 1923, the International Criminal Police Commission was founded in Vienna by the International Criminal Police Congress. This group was the forerunner to today’s Interpol. In 1938 Nazi Germany took control of the ICPC and most member states withdrew support. In 1942, the headquarters were moved to Berlin, but after the war, the ICPC was revived as the International Criminal Police Organization by Belgium, France, Scandinavia and the UK, and was headquartered in Paris, and then in Saint-Cloud, a suburb of Paris, in 1967.

While all active cases had been moved to Lyon in 1989, the closed cases remained in the building, and since Koichi Zenigata had captured Arsène Lupin III in 1979, all of Zenigata’s case records would be in that building.

Security here wasn’t quite as tight, none of the cases were still classified, but like in Lyon, digitization was taking until the heat death of the universe. The Lupin III file was extraordinarily large, as Zenigata spent his entire career in pursuit of this one criminal, even joining Interpol just so he could keep on Lupin’s tail. In the back of his mind, it reminded Chase of how he’d joined ACME so he could catch Carmen Sandiego, and filled him with a little bit of pride knowing that here, in these files, was a kindred spirit of sorts.

“It is too bad he is not here to help us, you know?” Chase said, but Julia ignored him.

“Ah, I believe I’ve found it.” Chase hovered around her trying to read what she was reading. However, Chase could not read Japanese and was therefore completely out of luck. “It seems that Lupin was captured in the collapse of a Japanese castle. He didn’t make it out in time and a beam crushed his leg. Zenigata saved his life and then arrested him.”

“So it could not have been Lupin because he is in jail!”

“No, it couldn’t have been Lupin because the man is 80 years old. Also, he escaped prison later that year. He never stole anything after that though, just a ghost. The Lupin family estate was auctioned off in 1980.”

“Ms. Argent, does it list the buyers?”

“It would appear that the largest buyer was the estate of Queen Clarisse di Cagliostro. She was known to have an obsession with the thief, since he did save her life.”

“Funny then that Lupin was extradited to Cagliostro, don’t you think?”

\---

The chapel doors opened. The room was lit by only the sun beaming in through the stained glass windows, and he was a bit hard to make out at first but the old lanky man stepped out into the sunlight, leaning heavily on a cane. On the top of the cane was a golden ram’s head. No one spoke for the first few seconds.

“Greetings new friends, I’m Felicien Charles Balsamo II. I welcome you to the Castle of Cagliostro.”

“Thank you for having us, Mr. Balsamo,” Carmen said. “I’m Carmen, and these are my friends, Zack and Ivy.”

“Well it’s leasure to make your acquaintance. You must be big Lupin the 3rd fans to have walked the bridge. Mind if I see the calling card again?”

Carmen handed it over.

“Yes, this is definitely one of his. I’m thinking… 1964. Was not kept in the best condition, was probably in a book or underneath one, judging by the shape of the yellowing. It could still be worth a few hundred dollars to the right collector, since most of these are locked up in museums.” Felicien handed the card back, “So! Would you like to take a tour?”

She didn’t really want to say no, even though she needed to, “Thank you very much.”

“Lupin the 3rd and his connection to Cagliostro go as far back as his father. Arsène Lupin was a gentleman thief, the original, predating Fantômas by a few years, no matter what anyone else tells you.” Felicien laughed a bit, as something about it had struck him as funny. “One of his many enemies was Josephine Balsamo, my grandmother, who stole away his infant child Jean.

“Years after her death, Arsène discovered his child once again, though he was being accused of a murder he didn’t commit. In the end, Arsène saved his son, but never told him he was his father.”

“Arsène didn’t know it at the time, but Josephine was a massive counterfeiter. For hundreds of years, her family was responsible for the Goat Bills, forgeries you couldn’t tell apart from the real things. Using their fake cash, they funded every conflict from the medieval era to World War I. It was this that allowed Cagliostro to avoid ever being absorbed by neighboring nations. It was also what brought Lupin the 3rd to Cagliostro, in search of those legendary forgeries, and it’s where he first met the founder of this museum, the Lady Clarisse di Cagliostro. She was just a child at the time, and Lupin himself, a young punk with no training, but she was smitten with him immediately, and eternally. She was also my wife, so you can imagine it was a bit hard playing second fiddle to a thief.”

“Wait, so,” Zack paused as he tried parsing out the French, “Lupin the 3rd was your cousin, right? Guess she was settling for second best.”

Felicien smiled, “You don’t miss a thing, do you Zack? Indeed he was my cousin, which made being jealous of him a bit harder. He did save her life from my uncle Alessandro, who was attempting to marry her to fulfill a prophecy and unveil a hidden treasure. But Lupin couldn’t be held down and couldn’t bear to put her in danger, so he ran away, and she collected everything in this museum.”

The quartet walked past a number of mannequins dressed in similar dress suits in several colors, green, red, pink, and blue. “Love the red,” Carmen said.

“I bet,” Felicien mumbled. “Over here, we have two of Lupin’s famous signature cars, a yellow 1957 Fiat 500 and a Mercedes Benz SSK. Though they appear to be factory new, both were once owned by Lupin and restored for the museum.”

“So your wife collected all this stuff, huh? Where is she, anyway?” Zack asked.

Felicien paused for a moment, “In the catacombs. Clarisse died three years ago, sadly; a very sudden stroke. I’ve been caring for the museum since then.”

Zack continued to demonstrate a fair lack of self-awareness, “Then why ain’t you doing all sorts of Kingly stuff?”

“Alas, it’s a hereditary monarchy, but my son does a pretty good job. Actually, would you like to see the catacombs? I was planning on visiting to pay my respects today, and it’s always a real treat for the visitors.

Zach tried to object but was immediately overruled by Carmen’s unilateral decision, “We’d love to.”

Ivy could tell her brother wasn’t up for it, “Why don’t you go, we’ll wait outside. I don’t want someone to have to clean up after he spews all over someone’s body.”

“That should be fine,” Felicien replied, “This way if you like, Carmen.”

The catacombs were damp and humid, not great conditions for the preservation of bodies, but it did mean that nearly every one of them was completely desiccated. The catacombs were well lit by modern LED lighting, and that improved the mood considerably, though there were still sconces along the walls where torches once sat to light the way.

The most prominent corpse was a skeleton covered in a white dress with a hood covering her scalp, “This is my darling Clarisse. She’s wearing the dress from when we were married. We didn’t have any daughters so, I thought it was appropriate.” 

Carmen noticed the body to her left, whose skull had a crescent circle on its arm, where a bullet had cleaved the bone, “Who’s that?”

“That is the body of my dearest friend and bodyguard, Daniel Dunn. I see you noticed the gunshot wound. He had more than a few, that’s for sure. Oddly enough it was the cigarettes that got him. Made me quit cold turkey. Actually though, there are a lot of bodies down here with gunshot wounds, stab wounds, and so on. Dozens of thieves met their ends here. I know for a fact you’re more than familiar with the stories of Cagliostro and its Goat Bills, aren’t you, Carmen Sandiego?”

“I never told you my last name…” Carmen tried to play naïve.

“You wouldn’t need to. I’ve been following your exploits for the past year, and I have to say, one phantom thief to another? I’m impressed.”

“Wait, you’re…”

“Took you long enough, Lupin the 3rd, at your service. The real one, at that.”


End file.
